When God Withholds

IMG_1672As a mom I have become a master at killing time, particularly those 3-4 hours in between nap time and bed time. For me, those are the hours that drag on forever. That’s the part of my day when I am most likely to end up putting myself in time out. It’s also the part of my day when I am most likely to raid the chocolate chip stash in the back of the freezer. (I’m way too healthy to buy candy, but I always have a secret stash of “ingredients.”)

So for the sake of my sanity and my waistline, it’s best that Shep and I go somewhere in the afternoons. And what better place to kill some time than Super Target? It is perhaps the one place on the planet where mother and child can experience equal amounts of happiness. Shep knows the drill: Starbucks, women’s shoes and accessories, then toys.  It’s a classic “win, win” scenario.

The other day we were in the toy section. I gave Shepherd 15 minutes to look around, told him that we were NOT buying anything, and clarified the consequence if he threw a fit. About 5 minutes in, he spotted a truck he really liked. It was a great truck. It was only a few dollars. He really, really wanted it. I had the ability to buy it. More importantly, I wanted to buy it. I wanted to make him happy. I wanted to grant his wish. I wanted to hear his sweet little voice say, “Mommy, you’re the best!”

So I stood there in the toy section incredibly conflicted – torn between the desire to give him what he wanted (the truck) and the desire to give him what he needed (a lesson in restraint).

As we walked out of the store that day (truck-less), it struck me that God never has that experience with His children. He is never conflicted. He never struggles to choose between what He wants to give us and what He knows is best for us. He never ever thinks to Himself, “Man, I really would like to give her ________________, but I probably shouldn’t.” He is utterly incapable of prioritizing our wants over our needs.  He absolutely cannot desire lesser things for us. Here’s why:

1)      He is sovereign.

That means that He is in absolute control over all things. He does whatever He pleases. There is not a single event in the entire universe that can occur outside of His domain.  The same is true of the small, ordinary events of your life. The Bible is replete with references to this amazing attribute:

The counsel of the LORD stands forever, the plans of His heart from generation to generation. (Ps. 33:11)

Many plans are in a man’s heart, but the counsel of the LORD will stand. (Prov. 19:21)

There is no wisdom and no understanding and no counsel against the LORD. (Prov. 21:30)

Our God is in heaven; He does whatever pleases Him. (Ps. 115:3)

I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is no one like Me, declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times things which have not been done, saying, “My purpose will be established, and I will accomplish all My good pleasure.” (Is. 46:9-10)

All the inhabitants of the earth are accounted as nothing, but He does according to His will in the host of heaven and among the inhabitants of earth; and no one can ward off His hand or say to Him, “What have You done?” (Dan. 4:35)

 [He] works all things after the counsel of His will. (Eph. 1:11)

Is God is in complete control over which “trucks” you get to take home and which ones you have to leave in the store? In other words, does He have absolute dominion over how and when and where the desires of your heart are fulfilled? Does He get to decide what’s best for you? YES – because He is sovereign.

2)      His wisdom is perfect.

Even the wisest among us are plagued with limited knowledge. We all know what it’s like to stress over an important decision, wondering if we’re are doing the right thing. We make our pro and con lists, seek wise counsel, get as much information as we can, and then do the best with what we know. Oftentimes, what we know is sorely insufficient. If you’ve never experienced that, you will when you become a parent!

God doesn’t have that problem – ever. He knows everything – past, present, and future. He can see what no human eye can see and understand what no human mind can understand. He never has to consult a source outside of Himself. As Jerry Bridges puts it in his book Trusting God Even When Life Hurts, “His wisdom is intuitive, infinite, and infallible.” Again Scripture makes this ever so clear:

With Him are wisdom and might; to Him belong counsel and understanding. (Job 12:13)

His understanding has no limit. (Ps. 147:5)

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. (Is. 40:28)

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” declares the LORD. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.”  (Is. 55:8,9)

Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever; wisdom and power are His. (Dan. 2:20)

Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways! (Rom. 11:33)

So not only does God have the power and authority to arrange your life, He has the wisdom to arrange it well. Perfectly, in fact. Because God is sovereign, He ultimately gets what He wants and because He is wise, He always wants what is best. He cannot desire something for you that is not in keeping with His perfect understanding of you, your life, your future, and (most importantly) your role in His overall redemptive plan.   

3)      He loves you.

Because He loves you He cares about you and delights in doing you good:

For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. (Ps. 84:11)

You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call to you. (Ps. 86:5)

Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits– who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. (Ps. 103:2-5)

Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows. (Matt 10:29-31)

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Rom. 8:28)

Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. (Rom. 8:35, 37)

There’s something incredibly sweet in knowing that I belong to a God who not only knows what’s best for me, but sincerely desires what’s best for me. He cannot want lesser things for His children. His perfect, unfailing, abiding, immeasurable love won’t allow it.

I don’t know about you, but I need to know that. As I wait for God to answer the cry of my heart in a very specific area of my life, I need to know He’s not conflicted. I need to know He is ordering my steps with an unwavering commitment to my good, which is ultimately for His glory. I need to know that when He says “no” He never regrets it or second guesses Himself. I need to know that He’s not the wimpy dad who gives in when His daughter throws a hissy fit. I need to know He loves me too much to give me want I want at the expense of what I need.  I need to know He wants much, much more for me than I want for myself.

So in those moments of doubt . . . when my unfulfilled longing threatens to undo me . . . when I am at a complete loss to understand what God is doing – I throw myself on the solid rock of who He is.

Upon that rock His sovereignty assures me of His absolute control, His wisdom assures me of His perfect guidance, and His love assures me of His faithful provision.

Together, they remind me that every “truck” withheld is both an act of divine grace and an oh-so-precious opportunity to deepen my trust in the One who holds my life.

Behind every bitter providence lies the promise of a better future. The very nature of your God guarantees it.


  1. “So in those moments of doubt . . . when my unfulfilled longing threatens to undo me . . . when I am at a complete loss to understand what God is doing – I throw myself on the solid rock of who He is.”

    Each time I get an new blog post from you…it speaks to me…especially today. Thank you for sharing and encouraging us…and pointing us to God.

    On the fourth year of waiting for a baby. We don’t sense God’s leading to pursue medical avenues at this time, beside the basics. It’s so difficult to wait and wonder why. I really get stuck in the ‘whys’ and I wish I wouldn’t. I know I should look with wonder at the amazing grace of our Rock.

    “The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” Ps 18:2

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