Dealing with a Failure Hangover

This will be short. My house is a wreck, I’m days behind in my current Bible study workbook, a mountain of dirty laundry is calling my name, and it would probably be a good idea to make sure the water and electric bills are paid. Happy Monday to me!

Last night was ugly. Details are unnecessary – just know I didn’t win any “sweetest, most gracious wife ” awards. I didn’t even deserve a “thanks for trying” certificate. Ironicly, I took two pages of notes on “blessed are the meek” that morning. Apparently none of it stuck. Instead, I ended up giving my whole family a stunning, real-life picture of James 1:23, 24.  You’d think that I’d know better by now. For goodness sake, how many times have I taught women to “do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves” (Phil. 2:3, 5)? I’ll answer that for you: LOTS of times!

But last night I chose to be selfish. I chose to be disrespectful. I chose to sin. And in doing so, I failed. Again.

Fast forward to this morning. I’m at the dining room table ready to meet with Jesus and “marinate” in the Word for a while. But there’s a yucky feeling in the pit of my stomach. A weight on my heart. A strong desire to do something else, anything else. I just wasn’t “feeling” it. Not at all.

Last night’s failure became this morning’s barrier to sweet, intimate fellowship with my Savior – like some kind of spiritual hangover. I just didn’t feel like facing the Lord with the guilt of last night’s “Aprile-must-have-her-way-or-else” show still heavy on my heart. He’s got to be sick and tired for dealing with the same old junk, right? It would be a lot more comfortable to just start on the laundry.

But thank God,  I didn’t.

I had already made things right with my husband, but not with the Lord. That was the issue, and I knew it. God’s desire is for the guilt we feel to lead us to him, not away from Him. So to Him I went.

Psalm 86:5 and 15 were extra sweet to me this morning: “For you, O Lord, are good and ready to forgive, and abundant in lovingkindness to all who call upon you . . . You are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness and truth.”

As I sat at my table this morning, I basically had two choices. I could focus on my failure. Or, I could fix my eyes on the one place where failure is forever eclipsed by grace. That place is the cross of Jesus Christ – the ultimate expression of the love, forgiveness, and mercy David wrote about in Psalm 86. It’s not a place where my sin is forgotten or excused as though it’s no big deal. It’s where my sin is paid for and washed away by the precious, priceless blood of Jesus.

Can I just stop and say, “Wow!”?

I chose to look to the cross, and I have to tell you – it made all the difference. Not one load of laundry has been done, but I had a blast with Jesus this morning. And praise God, I’m a different woman than I was a few hours ago.

Are you “hung over” on failure today? I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to be. He’s ready to forgive you, sweet sister.  What are you waiting for? Put that laudry down. I promise, it will be there in all it’s mountainous glory when you’re done.

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

Comments

  1. A big hug to you, Aprile.

    Mwah,
    Ruth

  2. Wow…this blog post just leaves me saying, “wow”! You’re transparency makes your writing incredible for the glory of God. Love to you friend!

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